Last Stall on the Left
- (He finds out he's the new Ninja) Oh, my... SWEE-EE-T!
- "Believe in the weapon that is in the suit."? Okay, what's in the suit? I'm... in the suit. I'm the weapon! I just have to believe in me!
- Hello, students! T'is I, THE NINJA!
- Remember to tip those lunch ladies!
- Come on, baby, drop some secret ninja knowledge on me.
- I believe in me; I believe in me; I believe in me kicking your butt!
- I wouldn't say I'm getting pwned...
- Aw man, I am getting pwned!
- Who's gettin' pwned now?!
- I don't know how it works, but the ninja suit is the straight-up cheese.
- Now as the Ninja I must be prepared at any time to do this (punches air), and this (kicks air), and how could I forget this? (kicks air)
- Ninja block, ninja block, ninja block, ninja block, aaannnd ninja block!
- No, Howard, this stinks. Smoke bomb! (throws down smoke bomb)
- I think he has to wait for like a monster or robot to attack...
- I mean, it's not like he can just smokebomb on by for a meet and greet. Or... can he?
- I NEED! TO USE! THE BATHROOM!
- I have to tell Howard! (looks back at the box that has a paper saying he can't tell anyone) Ohhhh that's wonk!
Got Stank
- (To Howard) Hey, why don't you come up with the plan for once? (laughs)
- Yeah, now we're just two freshmen kickin' it in speedos. Nothin' embarrassing about that.
- I HAVE TO DE-STANK 'EM, BRO!
- Gotta de-stank this geek!
- So here's a question Bucky. What's going on here... L-like in this area..?
- I do not feel right about beating up a band geek!
So U Think U Can Stank
- (To Heidi, who called him Andy) Randy, name's Randy. Known you my whole life.
- Schweet! They know both our names! Plan worked! Ten out of ten!
- And I can't get enough of it!
McFists of Fury
- McFist is so Bruce! He's the cheese! His name should be Bruce McCheese! He is my hero!
- Monica was hot, but that's ridiculous. [Robo-Ninja punches him] Aw, come on! That was a great line!
- But you can't be the bad guy! You're Hannibal McFist! You manufacture awesome!
- What better mask for a villain... than the most beloved man in town!
- (to Howard about history) Then why am I getting a D in it?
- [walks into a building] Building! That's a building!
- Ninja Nomicon! I'll be behind that tree.
- "Beware the enemy who wears a hero's mask." That Robo-Ninja is no hero! Don't worry! I'm on it!
Gossip Boy
- Every once in a while my ninja-ing takes me to a wicked gross place I call the "Shnasty Zone".
- Ninja sprint!
- Ninja stop, ninja stop, ninja stop.....!
- Aw, shnasty!
The Tale of the Golden Doctor's Note
- Awesome! At! Riddles! Me!
- Aw, we've just been Greened!
- The Nomicon! (Howard: That's your mathbook.) I meant the Nomicon! (whips out the Nomicon)
- YOU HAVE TINY HANDS, ALRIGHT!?!?
- Probably shouldn't have left Julian behind.
- Sweet ninja, that hurt!
House of 1,000 Boogers
- McSquiddles! LICK THE LIGHTING!
- I'll be in the Nomicon!
- Ninja surf!
- He only ate a booger, there's no way that can come back to haunt me!
- The greatest party in the history in high school and we're not invited. This burns man, this burns deep.
- Howard, I can't just Ninja out because we wanna go to Bash's party. Now if Bash's stepdad was my arch nemesis or- Oh, my Ninja!
- "A ninja must master the art of stealth." Yes, okay, yes! Reveal, conceal. Conceal, reveal. Camouflage? Oh, that is so BRUCE!
Attack of the Killer Potatoes
- Potato coming to life, not a big deal...
- Okay, now that's a big deal!
- BOOM, gravity! SCIENCE! Or is it a law?
- You know, Howard, we've learned a valuable lesson from this... (laughs)
- Brown Noser! (referring to Bucky)
Dawn of the Driscoll
- Ninja bone dodge!
- Ninja rotating table kick!
- Where did your husband take -(pause)- that boy whose name I do not know.
- Ninja lead!
- Viceroy, just need to talk...
- Jerry! Driscoll! Is! ALIVE!
- And you married that wacko?
- Not if I have anything to say about it- h'oh boy. Not if Viceroy has anything to say about it. A lot of science in here...
- How do you like me now, homie?
- Ugh, heads UP!
- How does the bowtie stay on? That makes no sense!
- So Booce! Did you get it? Booce.
- My hands! I can't control them! Nothing is safe! Nothing is safe!
Night of the Living McFizzles
- Theresa, you scared the juice out of- Howard, just Howard and I'm very brave.
- You're holding my hand. I mean, yo that's cool baby. Howard, you want to get in on this?
- Go for it some of us are scaredy babies and some of us are me.
- Mind? By all means.
- I'm not scared!
- G-G-Ghost! That's a honkin' ghost!
- You guys get out of here.
- Okay, I can handle this. Or should I say the Ninja... Mask is with Howard!
- Really? We're still doing that? Just give me the mask.
- Please, Debbie Kang, we're guys. Guys don't get scared.
- I would be delighted. They don't call me Hardcore Cunningham for nothing.
- I'm not a scaredy baby! If anyone's a scaredy baby, it's gotta be you!
Monster Dump
- Aw, that means so much to - that boy I never heard of.
- You're all kinds of schnasty! (holding Nicholas)
- Um, you could take a vacation from helping my archenemy try to kill me!
- If it was easy it wouldn't be awesome! We just have to find a way to get up there.
- Hey, where are the victory nachos?
- Those 'chos were for both of us!
Viva El Nomicon
- Ninja flash back!
- Ninja time chop!
- You're giving us an F?!
- An F?!
- Hey, look! It's that guy!
- Mexican Death Bear?!
- It's too fast, it's too strong...
- Hork up the band geek!
- I am in the ZONE.
- (The Nomicon falls on his head) GAH! (falls in pain) NOMICON! THAT'S A NOMICON!
30 Seconds to Math
- [To the crowd] I'm the Ninja! ...Why did I say that?
- What has 5 nipples and is going to win the Battle of the Bands? These guys!
- (to Howard) Howard !? Why are you putting cupcakes in my ears?!
Monster Drill
- [Laughing] Free the chicken? What am I supposed to do with that?
- Clouds, wind, chicken! Chicken!
- (Howard insults his Ninja scarf) Hey! The scarf is a serious Ninja tool! Plus, it's cool! IT'S COOL!
Silent Punch, Deadly Punch
- WINTER BREAK!
Stank'd to the Future
- Let's skip the "roar play" and get right to the fun stuff!
- NO! That is all kinds of gross! Smokebomb!
- BOOM! Knot not tied, tied.
Wave Slayers
- Howard, sometimes you have to say what the juice... WHAT THE JUICE?!
- Ah...Oh...Oh...What? Ah no. That's enough for today. [Frantic] Howard, wait up! Everything is fine here! Nothing is broken!
Sword Quest
- Howard, I'm NOT gonna fight with a balloon.
- I get what you were saying all this time! THIS balloon is my sword! And I'M GONNA NINJA WITH IT!
- (Inside a cactus field) This isn't that bad... I was WRONG! There are so many! So many pointy things! All of them hurt all over my body! Gah, my balloon! My ballon is all I care about! Howard, do NOT push me! Howard! Oh, now I'm gonna push you-- I missed, I missed and my face is touching it!
- New new rule, I'm not letting go this ballon. No matter what.
Nukid on the Block
- Say hello to my Ninja eye-poke!
- Those are ridiculous... ly awesome!
- The Class-Fecta isn't a real thing.
- [To Howard] I am the Ninja, I like being the Ninja, it's my duty. But I wouldn't expect you to understand what it means to have a duty.
- [About Franz] "The most dangerous enemy often wears the mask of an ally." Ugh, you're the enemy the Nomicon was warning me about!
- Well, I guess you have to know the difference between your Franz and your enemies.
- Howard, I acted like a total shoob. I thought my only duty was being the Ninja but I was wrong. I have two duties, a ninja duty, and a best friend duty.....No you can laugh, I said duty a lot of times.
Weinerman Up
- Howard, bad sportsmanship does not look good on you.
- That was so bruce! I give myself 1,000 Ninja points!
- "A Ninja must know when winning is losing and losing is winning." If I want the robot to lose, I have to let Howard win! Alright Howard, you want the high score, come and get it.
Evil Spirit Week
- Photo! Bomb! Us! Now!
- I might have accidentally released an ancient bird thing which possessed you.
- This is the Bruce-est thing in the history of BRUCE!
Der Monster Klub
- Eh... It-it's just a game, right?
Grave Puncher: The Movie!
- (in high-pitched voice) Over there! Look! Over! There!
- Clouds, wind, chicken, NINJA AIR FIST!.....Okay, that air fist should've worked.
- Deceit often comes at a price. We caused the mess, we gotta pay the price. I have to destroy the projector!
Escape from Detention Island
- You've done epic damage here. Like more than usual. I think it's safer if I took this one.
- Howard doesn't mean that. I mean he's saying it but he doesn't mean it.
- Oh it's a dragon!
- The three main rocks on this island are NINJA RING! NINJA RING! AND NINJA RING!
- Something bad is about to happen.
- Everyone! Escape thorough my crack!
- Relax, he's only a hologram.
- No, no he's a robot. He is all robot.
- Eat lava!
- Why don't you take this one, Big H?
- See ya in detention.
Bash Johnson: 11th Grade Ninja
- Gravy fries, prepare to be in my mouth! *gasp* Who?! What?! When?! Where?! Why?! HOWWWWWWW?!
- [Howard just ate Randy's gravy fries.] (Howard: In my defense, gravy fires.) And I counter with... HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR BEST FRIEND?!
- Wait, you guys actually believe that Bash is the Ninja? Baaasssh? Bash!
- I knew it! Revealing your identity is dangerous! That's exactly why I didn't do it! -(pause)- Okay, okay, I was gonna do it, but I didn't, so let's move on.
Ninja Camp
- Mac Antfee, prepare to get your butt whooped by a nicewad.
- What am I suppose to learn from that PSYCHO?! If that's the kind of ninja I'm suppose to be, then you got the wrong freshman!
- I'm not the wrong guy to be the ninja, right?
- Really, Nomicon, this is the past ninja you wanted me to learn from?
- It's the Pagoda of Knowledge, and it's stupid, this whole place is stupid! How could you make the squad and I didn't? I'm the NINJA!
- Oh, hey, Mac, thought I'd stop by. See how the whole "splosions" goin'.
- No, Honkin, Way!
- Fine, just one thing, SMOKEBOMB!
- Ugh, Ninja Camp. [sarcastic] Great idea Howard, you know we should go again next year.
Enter the Nomicon
- Ain't no shame losing to the class of IN YOUR FACE!
- I'm gonna wipe his butt- MINDwipe his butt is what I meant!
- In the Nomicon, anything is possible...
- [To Howard, about Mac Antfee] HE THREW YOU OUT OF A PAGODA!
- (to Howard) You took that from my wallet while I was shloomped down, didn't you?
Sorcerer in Love
- Howard. We have to get dates! (short pause) (Randy and Howard laugh)
- That's exactly the kind of cheesy line you'll never hear if you go out with me!
- Someone's gonna find the most beautiful thing in school. It's only a matter of time!
- Cute, NinjaNomicon. I mean, not helpful, but cute.
- The Carp's Eye! Above its nose and no ears! It's the most beautiful thing in school!
- We found it, Howard!
- It's so not repulsive.
- Ninja Duck, Ninja Flip! NInja Slide, Ninja Slide! Yeah, baby! (debris falls on his head) Ah, come on!
- Okay, guys, I know Amanda's hot. Super hot, but she's not... (gets blasted by the Sorceress)
- Trust me, I don't want her.
- The nose did not need to know that.
- Wanna go to my house and get our Grave Punch on?
Sorcerer in Love 2: The Sorceress's Revenge
- Just one thing: you're not a hero.
- Because you jump in the last second and yanked your Biffer's cheese, Howard-style
- You didn't save the day, you saved the second. That medal should say: "Randy does all the work, while Howard jumps in at the last second and yanks his cheese!"
- Hey, what's this, some kind of line?
- (to Theresa) Not a hero.
- This calls for a hero.
- Howard: I'm on it!
- Randy: I mean the Ninja, not you, Baby Buckaroo!
- It's Ninja Ti... [Theresa grabs his hand] THERESA!...You're holding my hand! That's quite a grip you got there.
- Theresa, I don't suppose you have your twirling sticks on you?
- Theresa: Am I gonna get this back?
- Randy: No.
- Hey, demon dogs! (throws Theresa's twirling stick) Fetch!
- Yes, yes! Now, quick everyone to the bathroom!
- He's yanking my cheese again!
- Stop yanking my cheese!
- Theresa: (scared) What do we do now?
- Randy: (to Howard) Yeah, hero, what do we do now?
- I have no faith in you.
- Theresa, I think you'd be safer with Howard. He's the (facepalms) real hero.
- Theresa: (sadly) Really?
- Randy: I'm afraid so, but, I'll be right behind you.
- [sees the portal to the Land of Shadows] Hachi-Machi! What the juice is that?!
- (to the Sorceress) Not gonna happen, they're long gone by now.
- (to Howard) You saved me.
- (to Howard) (laughs) Trust me, I wasn't that into it either.
- (to Howard) I was wrong. You're a total hero,
- (to Howard) Of course I'm a hero too, I mean I did banish the Sorceress back to the Land of Shadows.
- (to Bash) No Bash, (raises Howard's hand) this hero will show you the way.
Shloomp! There It Is!
- Pretty bad but, it's worth it. If it makes me a better Ninja.
- When? Name one time.
- Better shloomp on it.
- Besides when you go full-Nomicon, you go full-Nomicon, that's why it's called full-Nomicon.
- (to Nomicon) Oh, I ask myself, gotcha. (to NomiRandy) Okay me, I'm leaving Rechunkulous but honestly-- (gets slapped by NomiRandy)
- Pardon me, me, but, what the juice?!
- What am I doing to me?!
- Yo, who cares what the book says?
- I'm goin' Barely-Chunk (NomiRandy starts eating Barely-Chunk straight from the machine)
- Hey, looking good girl, what's up P Slimz (opens his locker, looks at his reflection and winks) How you doin'?
- Uh-oh this is gonna hurt.
- Yeah you sure about that (kicks the boombox, starts dancing, starting with a spin and points at Bash after the wave)
- Yo sup Weiner-Babe, girl how 'bout you and I get together and turn (points Heidi's nose) your me-cast into a we-cast uh-huh?
- Why aren't I stopping her, oh, right that's not me, I'm me and I'm tied to a chair !
- I don't get it, I went full-Nomicon, why aren't you telling me what to do, JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
- Howard you freed me, what are you doing in the Nomicon?
- I call him NomiRandy and he's bad news!
- I don't know. Nomicon won't tell me what to do. It just keeps saying that. [Shows Howard the Nomicon's lesson: A Ninja without balance will fall."]
- I need to go half-Nomicon! Boom-bam-boom! Balance!
- No honkin' way, I like it here.
- (Mocking) I'm Randy Cunningham, I never give up.
- And I will, with my ninja bouquet. Theresa, these are, umm... so there's this guy, Randy Cunningham, I think that's his name, and he, and there, there was, umm... and he's sorry. Here. [puts bouquet on the ground]
- It's Randy, Randy! I just met the guy, I know it's Randy. (asks Jed and Scott) Am I wrong about this? (Jed and Scott shrug their shoulders) sheesh, smokebomb!
- Let's just call it a swirl.
Randy Cunningham: 13th Century Ninja
- We went back in time!
- Okay, I admit, this looks bad, but we can't give up!
- C'mon, you stopped this guy once!
- From where I came from, you did!
- We're Ninjas, we never quit! I can't believe he just quit! He's the First Ninja, he's a legend! [sighs] Fine! If you won't help then-- [get's interrupted by Howard]
- I'm not gonna say that!
- No, 'cause you just did!
- Yoohoo, Mr. Sorcerer!
- I was not ready! [enters Ninja Rage] NOW I'm ready!
- Ow, my guts! He hit me in my guts!
- Hey, First Ninja! You're back! NINJAS NEVER SAY QUIT!
- I don't know what the cheese going on it ends now ! * jumps to the monsters *
Other Quotes
- What the juice?!
- So honkin' cool!
- So bruce!
- Smokebomb!
- Oh, my Ninja!
- Let's do this!
- Ah, that's wonk!
- Ninja flip!
- NINJA RINGS!
- NINJA AIR FIST !
- Ninja sprint !
- Is Ninja'O clock