Last Stall on the Left

  • (He finds out he's the new Ninja) Oh, my... SWEE-EE-T!
  • "Believe in the weapon that is in the suit."? Okay, what's in the suit? I'm... in the suit. I'm the weapon! I just have to believe in me!
  • Hello, students! T'is I, THE NINJA!
  • Remember to tip those lunch ladies!
  • Come on, baby, drop some secret ninja knowledge on me.
  • I believe in me; I believe in me; I believe in me kicking your butt!
  • I wouldn't say I'm getting pwned...
  • Aw man, I am getting pwned!
  • Who's gettin' pwned now?!
  • I don't know how it works, but the ninja suit is the straight-up cheese.
  • Now as the Ninja I must be prepared at any time to do this (punches air), and this (kicks air), and how could I forget this? (kicks air)
  • Ninja block, ninja block, ninja block, ninja block, aaannnd ninja block!
  • No, Howard, this stinks. Smoke bomb! (throws down smoke bomb)
  • I think he has to wait for like a monster or robot to attack...
  • I mean, it's not like he can just smokebomb on by for a meet and greet. Or... can he?
  • I have to tell Howard! (looks back at the box that has a paper saying he can't tell anyone) Ohhhh that's wonk!

Got Stank

  • (To Howard) Hey, why don't you come up with the plan for once? (laughs)
  • Yeah, now we're just two freshmen kickin' it in speedos. Nothin' embarrassing about that.
  • Gotta de-stank this geek!
  • So here's a question Bucky. What's going on here... L-like in this area..?
  • I do not feel right about beating up a band geek!

So U Think U Can Stank

  • (To Heidi, who called him Andy) Randy, name's Randy. Known you my whole life.
  • Schweet! They know both our names! Plan worked! Ten out of ten!
  • And I can't get enough of it!

McFists of Fury

  • McFist is so Bruce! He's the cheese! His name should be Bruce McCheese! He is my hero!
  • Monica was hot, but that's ridiculous. [Robo-Ninja punches him] Aw, come on! That was a great line!
  • But you can't be the bad guy! You're Hannibal McFist! You manufacture awesome!
  • What better mask for a villain... than the most beloved man in town!
  • (to Howard about history) Then why am I getting a D in it?
  • [walks into a building] Building! That's a building!
  • Ninja Nomicon! I'll be behind that tree.
  • "Beware the enemy who wears a hero's mask." That Robo-Ninja is no hero! Don't worry! I'm on it!

Gossip Boy

  • Every once in a while my ninja-ing takes me to a wicked gross place I call the "Shnasty Zone".
  • Ninja sprint!
  • Ninja stop, ninja stop, ninja stop.....!
  • Aw, shnasty!

The Tale of the Golden Doctor's Note

  • Awesome! At! Riddles! Me!
  • Aw, we've just been Greened!
  • The Nomicon! (Howard: That's your mathbook.) I meant the Nomicon! (whips out the Nomicon)
  • Probably shouldn't have left Julian behind.
  • Sweet ninja, that hurt!

House of 1,000 Boogers

  • McSquiddles! LICK THE LIGHTING!
  • I'll be in the Nomicon!
  • Ninja surf!
  • He only ate a booger, there's no way that can come back to haunt me!
  • The greatest party in the history in high school and we're not invited. This burns man, this burns deep.
  • Howard, I can't just Ninja out because we wanna go to Bash's party. Now if Bash's stepdad was my arch nemesis or- Oh, my Ninja!
  • "A ninja must master the art of stealth." Yes, okay, yes! Reveal, conceal. Conceal, reveal. Camouflage? Oh, that is so BRUCE!

Attack of the Killer Potatoes

  • Potato coming to life, not a big deal...
  • Okay, now that's a big deal!
  • BOOM, gravity! SCIENCE! Or is it a law?
  • You know, Howard, we've learned a valuable lesson from this... (laughs)
  • Brown Noser! (referring to Bucky)

Dawn of the Driscoll

  • Ninja bone dodge!
  • Ninja rotating table kick!
  • Where did your husband take -(pause)- that boy whose name I do not know.
  • Ninja lead!
  • Viceroy, just need to talk...
  • Jerry! Driscoll! Is! ALIVE!
  • And you married that wacko?
  • Not if I have anything to say about it- h'oh boy. Not if Viceroy has anything to say about it. A lot of science in here...
  • How do you like me now, homie?
  • Ugh, heads UP!
  • How does the bowtie stay on? That makes no sense!
  • So Booce! Did you get it? Booce.
  • My hands! I can't control them! Nothing is safe! Nothing is safe!

Night of the Living McFizzles

  • Theresa, you scared the juice out of- Howard, just Howard and I'm very brave.
  • You're holding my hand. I mean, yo that's cool baby. Howard, you want to get in on this?
  • Go for it some of us are scaredy babies and some of us are me.
  • Mind? By all means.
  • I'm not scared!
  • G-G-Ghost! That's a honkin' ghost!
  • You guys get out of here.
  • Okay, I can handle this. Or should I say the Ninja... Mask is with Howard!
  • Really? We're still doing that? Just give me the mask.
  • Please, Debbie Kang, we're guys. Guys don't get scared.
  • I would be delighted. They don't call me Hardcore Cunningham for nothing.
  • I'm not a scaredy baby! If anyone's a scaredy baby, it's gotta be you!

Monster Dump

  • Aw, that means so much to - that boy I never heard of.
  • You're all kinds of schnasty! (holding Nicholas)
  • Um, you could take a vacation from helping my archenemy try to kill me!
  • If it was easy it wouldn't be awesome! We just have to find a way to get up there.
  • Hey, where are the victory nachos?
  • Those 'chos were for both of us!

Viva El Nomicon

  • Ninja flash back!
  • Ninja time chop!
  • You're giving us an F?!
  • An F?!
  • Hey, look! It's that guy!
  • Mexican Death Bear?!
  • It's too fast, it's too strong...
  • Hork up the band geek!
  • I am in the ZONE.
  • (The Nomicon falls on his head) GAH! (falls in pain) NOMICON! THAT'S A NOMICON!

30 Seconds to Math

  • [To the crowd] I'm the Ninja! ...Why did I say that?
  • What has 5 nipples and is going to win the Battle of the Bands? These guys!
  • (to Howard) Howard !? Why are you putting cupcakes in my ears?!

Monster Drill

  • [Laughing] Free the chicken? What am I supposed to do with that?
  • Clouds, wind, chicken! Chicken!
  • (Howard insults his Ninja scarf) Hey! The scarf is a serious Ninja tool! Plus, it's cool! IT'S COOL!

Silent Punch, Deadly Punch


Stank'd to the Future

  • Let's skip the "roar play" and get right to the fun stuff!
  • NO! That is all kinds of gross! Smokebomb!
  • BOOM! Knot not tied, tied.

Wave Slayers

  • Howard, sometimes you have to say what the juice... WHAT THE JUICE?!
  • Ah...Oh...Oh...What? Ah no. That's enough for today. [Frantic] Howard, wait up! Everything is fine here! Nothing is broken!

Sword Quest

  • Howard, I'm NOT gonna fight with a balloon.
  • I get what you were saying all this time! THIS balloon is my sword! And I'M GONNA NINJA WITH IT!
  • (Inside a cactus field) This isn't that bad... I was WRONG! There are so many! So many pointy things! All of them hurt all over my body! Gah, my balloon! My ballon is all I care about! Howard, do NOT push me! Howard! Oh, now I'm gonna push you-- I missed, I missed and my face is touching it!
  • New new rule, I'm not letting go this ballon. No matter what.

Nukid on the Block

  • Say hello to my Ninja eye-poke!
  • Those are ridiculous... ly awesome!
  • The Class-Fecta isn't a real thing.
  • [To Howard] I am the Ninja, I like being the Ninja, it's my duty. But I wouldn't expect you to understand what it means to have a duty.
  • [About Franz] "The most dangerous enemy often wears the mask of an ally." Ugh, you're the enemy the Nomicon was warning me about!
  • Well, I guess you have to know the difference between your Franz and your enemies.
  • Howard, I acted like a total shoob. I thought my only duty was being the Ninja but I was wrong. I have two duties, a ninja duty, and a best friend duty.....No you can laugh, I said duty a lot of times.

Weinerman Up

  • Howard, bad sportsmanship does not look good on you.
  • That was so bruce! I give myself 1,000 Ninja points!
  • "A Ninja must know when winning is losing and losing is winning." If I want the robot to lose, I have to let Howard win! Alright Howard, you want the high score, come and get it.

Evil Spirit Week

  • Photo! Bomb! Us! Now!
  • I might have accidentally released an ancient bird thing which possessed you.
  • This is the Bruce-est thing in the history of BRUCE!

Der Monster Klub

  • Eh... It-it's just a game, right?

Grave Puncher: The Movie!

  • (in high-pitched voice) Over there! Look! Over! There!
  • Clouds, wind, chicken, NINJA AIR FIST!.....Okay, that air fist should've worked.
  • Deceit often comes at a price. We caused the mess, we gotta pay the price. I have to destroy the projector!

Escape from Detention Island

  • You've done epic damage here. Like more than usual. I think it's safer if I took this one.
  • Howard doesn't mean that. I mean he's saying it but he doesn't mean it.
  • Oh it's a dragon!
  • The three main rocks on this island are NINJA RING! NINJA RING! AND NINJA RING!
  • Something bad is about to happen.
  • Everyone! Escape thorough my crack!
  • Relax, he's only a hologram.
  • No, no he's a robot. He is all robot.
  • Eat lava!
  • Why don't you take this one, Big H?
  • See ya in detention.

Bash Johnson: 11th Grade Ninja

  • Gravy fries, prepare to be in my mouth! *gasp* Who?! What?! When?! Where?! Why?! HOWWWWWWW?!
  • [Howard just ate Randy's gravy fries.] (Howard: In my defense, gravy fires.) And I counter with... HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR BEST FRIEND?!
  • Wait, you guys actually believe that Bash is the Ninja? Baaasssh? Bash!
  • I knew it! Revealing your identity is dangerous! That's exactly why I didn't do it! -(pause)- Okay, okay, I was gonna do it, but I didn't, so let's move on.

Ninja Camp

  • Mac Antfee, prepare to get your butt whooped by a nicewad.
  • What am I suppose to learn from that PSYCHO?! If that's the kind of ninja I'm suppose to be, then you got the wrong freshman!
  • I'm not the wrong guy to be the ninja, right?
  • Really, Nomicon, this is the past ninja you wanted me to learn from?
  • It's the Pagoda of Knowledge, and it's stupid, this whole place is stupid! How could you make the squad and I didn't? I'm the NINJA!
  • Oh, hey, Mac, thought I'd stop by. See how the whole "splosions" goin'.
  • No, Honkin, Way!
  • Fine, just one thing, SMOKEBOMB!
  • Ugh, Ninja Camp. [sarcastic] Great idea Howard, you know we should go again next year.

Enter the Nomicon

  • Ain't no shame losing to the class of IN YOUR FACE!
  • I'm gonna wipe his butt- MINDwipe his butt is what I meant!
  • In the Nomicon, anything is possible...
  • [To Howard, about Mac Antfee] HE THREW YOU OUT OF A PAGODA!
  • (to Howard) You took that from my wallet while I was shloomped down, didn't you?

Sorcerer in Love

  • Howard. We have to get dates! (short pause) (Randy and Howard laugh)
  • That's exactly the kind of cheesy line you'll never hear if you go out with me!
  • Someone's gonna find the most beautiful thing in school. It's only a matter of time!
  • Cute, NinjaNomicon. I mean, not helpful, but cute.
  • The Carp's Eye! Above its nose and no ears! It's the most beautiful thing in school!
  • We found it, Howard!
  • It's so not repulsive.
  • Ninja Duck, Ninja Flip! NInja Slide, Ninja Slide! Yeah, baby! (debris falls on his head) Ah, come on!
  • Okay, guys, I know Amanda's hot. Super hot, but she's not... (gets blasted by the Sorceress)
  • Trust me, I don't want her.
  • The nose did not need to know that.
  • Wanna go to my house and get our Grave Punch on?

Sorcerer in Love 2: The Sorceress's Revenge

  • Just one thing: you're not a hero.
  • Because you jump in the last second and yanked your Biffer's cheese, Howard-style
  • You didn't save the day, you saved the second. That medal should say: "Randy does all the work, while Howard jumps in at the last second and yanks his cheese!"
  • Hey, what's this, some kind of line?
  • (to Theresa) Not a hero.
  • This calls for a hero.
    • Howard: I'm on it!
    • Randy: I mean the Ninja, not you, Baby Buckaroo!
  • It's Ninja Ti... [Theresa grabs his hand] THERESA!...You're holding my hand! That's quite a grip you got there.
  • Theresa, I don't suppose you have your twirling sticks on you?
    • Theresa: Am I gonna get this back?
    • Randy: No.  
  • Hey, demon dogs! (throws Theresa's twirling stick) Fetch!
  • Yes, yes! Now, quick everyone to the bathroom!
  • He's yanking my cheese again!
  • Stop yanking my cheese!
  • Theresa: (scared) What do we do now?
    • Randy: (to Howard) Yeah, hero, what do we do now?
  • I have no faith in you.
  • Theresa, I think you'd be safer with Howard. He's the (facepalms) real hero.
    • Theresa: (sadly) Really?
    • Randy: I'm afraid so, but, I'll be right behind you.
  • [sees the portal to the Land of Shadows] Hachi-Machi! What the juice is that?!
  • (to the Sorceress) Not gonna happen, they're long gone by now.
  • (to Howard) You saved me.
  • (to Howard) (laughs) Trust me, I wasn't that into it either.
  • (to Howard) I was wrong. You're a total hero,
  • (to Howard) Of course I'm a hero too, I mean I did banish the Sorceress back to the Land of Shadows.
  • (to Bash) No Bash, (raises Howard's hand) this hero will show you the way.

Shloomp! There It Is!

  • Pretty bad but, it's worth it. If it makes me a better Ninja.
  • When? Name one time.
  • Better shloomp on it.
  • Besides when you go full-Nomicon, you go full-Nomicon, that's why it's called full-Nomicon.
  • (to Nomicon) Oh, I ask myself, gotcha. (to NomiRandy) Okay me, I'm leaving Rechunkulous but honestly-- (gets slapped by NomiRandy)
  • Pardon me, me, but, what the juice?!
  • What am I doing to me?!
  • Yo, who cares what the book says?
  • I'm goin' Barely-Chunk (NomiRandy starts eating Barely-Chunk straight from the machine)
  • Hey, looking good girl, what's up P Slimz (opens his locker, looks at his reflection and winks) How you doin'?
  • Uh-oh this is gonna hurt.
  • Yeah you sure about that (kicks the boombox, starts dancing, starting with a spin and points at Bash after the wave)
  • Yo sup Weiner-Babe, girl how 'bout you and I get together and turn (points Heidi's nose) your me-cast into a we-cast uh-huh?
  • Why aren't I stopping her, oh, right that's not me, I'm me and I'm tied to a chair !
  • I don't get it, I went full-Nomicon, why aren't you telling me what to do, JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
  • Howard you freed me, what are you doing in the Nomicon?
  • I call him NomiRandy and he's bad news!
  • I don't know. Nomicon won't tell me what to do. It just keeps saying that. [Shows Howard the Nomicon's lesson: A Ninja without balance will fall."]
  • I need to go half-Nomicon! Boom-bam-boom! Balance!
  • No honkin' way, I like it here.
  • (Mocking) I'm Randy Cunningham, I never give up.
  • And I will, with my ninja bouquet. Theresa, these are, umm... so there's this guy, Randy Cunningham, I think that's his name, and he, and there, there was, umm... and he's sorry. Here. [puts bouquet on the ground]
  • It's Randy, Randy! I just met the guy, I know it's Randy. (asks Jed and Scott) Am I wrong about this? (Jed and Scott shrug their shoulders) sheesh, smokebomb!
  • Let's just call it a swirl.

Randy Cunningham: 13th Century Ninja

  • We went back in time!
  • Okay, I admit, this looks bad, but we can't give up!
  • C'mon, you stopped this guy once!
  • From where I came from, you did!
  • We're Ninjas, we never quit! I can't believe he just quit! He's the First Ninja, he's a legend! [sighs] Fine! If you won't help then-- [get's interrupted by Howard]
  • I'm not gonna say that!
  • No, 'cause you just did!
  • Yoohoo, Mr. Sorcerer!
  • I was not ready! [enters Ninja Rage] NOW I'm ready!
  • Ow, my guts! He hit me in my guts!
  • Hey, First Ninja! You're back! NINJAS NEVER SAY QUIT!
  • I don't know what the cheese going on it ends now ! * jumps to the monsters *

Other Quotes

  • What the juice?!
  • So honkin' cool!
  • So bruce!
  • Smokebomb!
  • Oh, my Ninja!
  • Let's do this!
  • Ah, that's wonk!
  • Ninja flip!
  • Ninja sprint !
  • Is Ninja'O clock

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